Tuesday 26 July 2011

Perspective

I had one of those days yesterday when everything felt off. The kids were being fine, but I just didn't feel myself. Part of me recognized that this is just my body getting ready for labour which had me nervous, excited and slightly exhausted (already). After a day of feeling sorry for myself I was checking my twitter feed where I saw a blog being passed around by some people I followed. Often times Moms will retweet the blog postings of Moms in need of some encouragement. Usually these blogs are the product of post partum depression or just one of those days that we all have when we feel inadequate. I read them because I've felt overwhelmed in my life too and feel compelled to encourage these young, sleep-deprived Moms. We don't live in tight knit communities like we used to so the Internet is the new way to share, encourage, and vent. A simple status update on Facebook, tweet on Twitter, or blog post can remind us in seconds that we have a world wide community willing to encourage us and give us some much needed perspective.

But this blog was different. It was a young Mom in a situation I couldn't fathom: She's battling cancer. From what I could glean she's getting rigorous treatment that is making her feel worse than the cancer. Despite her painful and intense regimen she believes her cancer is spreading, growing. I was emotionally devastated to read this. While I complain about the pains caused by my growing miracle baby, she is bravely sharing the story of the death growing in her body, trying to steal her from her children. Perspective can be a harsh lesson. My gratitude grew instantaneously but also my desire to storm the gates of heaven with a prayer that wasn't for me. This complete stranger felt like a sister to me in that moment of desperate prayers. As I just yesterday prayed for my new baby to be safely separated from my body, I frantically prayed that this young mother would not be separated from her babies. Whatever His plans for this stranger, I am so thankful that her story pulled me out of my own selfishness yesterday. I hope I keep this perspective as long as I live. I am so blessed with my health and the good health of my children.

Wednesday 20 July 2011

Pregnant Amnesia

It's official: I am THAT pregnant. For the fourth time. Everyone says we Mums get blissful ignorance of the details from prior labors (somewhat true), but for me the amnesia starts around 7 months pregnant. As my Hubby can attest I'm whining about aches and pains at 38 weeks like this was the first time and I didn't see it coming. Four pregnancies in I've seen pretty well all my body's going to deal with so it's actually pretty funny to catch myself hastily searching on google to make sure I'm not in labour as each new symptom arises. I have also caught myself saying meaningfully to Hubby that I think this baby might be coming soon. Hubby is unfazed. He's been through this before too and lucky for both of us he can remember all these details. He easily remembers that the earliest I've gone into labour is 41+ weeks. That being said he still is having his own pre-baby nerves but he's clearly keeping his frantic crib assembly and googling of symptoms to himself. He has found very calm and casual ways to ask how the baby is positioned (very low by the way. When I walk I look like I'm trying to shoplift a watermelon between my legs), how my feet feel (puffy and sore) and if I've had any increase in mucus (I'll spare you the details. Haha). I know he's being mindful of all these details as he helps me remember every complaint for our doctor's appointments. I may have pregnant amnesia but luckily Hubby is still sharp as a tac.

Now, it's time to google how many times a night it's normal to have to pee....